curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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