Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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