you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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