You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize