: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
