Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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