Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
