I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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