Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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