A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
