Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You ate ashes out of my bong
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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