My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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