We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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