Non-Jews are for practice
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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