Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
