white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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