Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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