Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
