I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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