sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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