I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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