How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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