So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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