my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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