We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
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I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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