So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
