Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
