I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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