gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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