Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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