I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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