I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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