Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
