I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Non-Jews are for practice
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We don't watch enough power rangers
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
