My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
