Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
