we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
false alarm, still single
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
