A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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