Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
