how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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