I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
