Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours

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(908): View more from New Jersey

how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots

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(605): View more from South Dakota

For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(304): View more from West Virginia

Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.

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(616): View more from Michigan

At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head

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(650): View more from California

He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups

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(775): View more from Nevada

She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.

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