Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.

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(269): bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile. http://tfl.nu/sd6y

Replies (2) Good night (1090) Bad night (528)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.

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(250): i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week. http://tfl.nu/bxis

Replies (12) Good night (717) Bad night (1439)
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(410): View more from Maryland

9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.

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(410): 9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season. http://tfl.nu/tefo

Replies (23) Good night (4528) Bad night (526)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined

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(301): I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined http://tfl.nu/iip9

Replies (19) Good night (903) Bad night (3154)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".

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(636): Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional". http://tfl.nu/cis7

Replies (10) Good night (4392) Bad night (714)
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(408): View more from California

She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...

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(408): She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that. (717): I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother... http://tfl.nu/ehm3

Replies (153) Good night (2066) Bad night (25904)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

6 min

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(215): what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers (1-215): 6 min http://tfl.nu/dx1s

Replies (64) Good night (10678) Bad night (1795)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.

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(304): Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me. http://tfl.nu/4mjy

Replies (14) Good night (3111) Bad night (1117)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.

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(918): He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it. http://tfl.nu/hmj1

Replies (6) Good night (649) Bad night (1936)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...

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(860): I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat... http://tfl.nu/q3ep

Replies (5) Good night (1519) Bad night (603)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule

(856): View more from New Jersey

Lmao sorry

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(609): Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule (856): Lmao sorry http://tfl.nu/mr80

Replies (2) Good night (2037) Bad night (677)
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(757): View more from Virginia

SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?

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(757): SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get? http://tfl.nu/a9m1

Replies (12) Good night (1200) Bad night (1214)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them

(256): View more from Alabama

FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT

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(256): I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship. (1-256): I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them (256): FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT http://tfl.nu/i1rw

Replies (6) Good night (1596) Bad night (897)
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(360): View more from Washington

Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye

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(360): Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye http://tfl.nu/wt8g

Replies (5) Good night (512) Bad night (832)
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(213): View more from California

Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20

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(213): Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20 http://tfl.nu/udx8

Replies (8) Good night (1263) Bad night (472)

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