So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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