38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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