Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
