I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
