Who did Billy Mays play for?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
