Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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