My Higher Power is John Stamos
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin