I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?