fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
