MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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