Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
