I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
