yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the day after is always just damage control
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
