I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
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Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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