tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
there is glitter all over my balls
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